Where are you friend....

Remember you always bring me in blue feeling,
Big Eyes, where are you now.....
If you know, beatiful feeling which I felt when you were in my life,
There was nothing I fear, There was nothing I worry,
Because I trust you, you will always care me,
you will always remind me,
you will always there for me...
That dream has lost,....
Disappear,...
When you leaved.
My tears dropped,..
Now there is nobody for me to share,
Nobody,...
I lost my lover, also I lost a good friend, my hope, my dreams,...
Big Eyes, where ever you are now,
My wish,.....my good friend will back for me.
To help me, build new hopes in my life,...
As my good friend, because I know I have lost my lover...

Sleman city,
April, 2008
jania

Mom,.....

Mother. . . .
I dont know, what the correct word to describe you . . . . .
May be it is late, very late. . . .
I saw all your love, when you were in old age, . . .
when you already had many limitedness, . . . .
and now, when you have leaved me, . . . . .

Mam, a million forgive I request from u,
in my prayer, in my tears, . . . .
now I know whence the warmth feeling, . . . .
now i know what made me peace and pleasant in our home. .
that is because of you, because of your love, and your prayers, . . . .
I never realized, until I feel coldness in my days,
after you leaved.

Mam, all memories with you lives in my heart, . . . .
you are my best friend when I was sad and ill, . . . .
when I was weak, your touch made me strong.

Mam, I know you dont like to see me cry,
but mam,
Remember you always make my tears drops,
I learnt many veracities and love from you.
give without expect replying, . . .
and how i always have no idea? . . . .

Mother, . . . . again, . . . I am sorry

Jogja, October 2007
Jania,

I will be....

I'll Be The One, I'll be the one to love you,
When you're feeling sad and blue,
I'll be the one to help you
When the road's too rough for you.
I'll be the one to hold you
When the world has let you down,
I'll be the one to save you And turn it all around.
I'll be the one to let you know
How much you mean to me
I'll be the one to tell you You're the only one I need.
I'll be the one to miss you If you ever go away
I'll be the one whose love will grow, Throughout each passing day.
I chose to love you in silence for in silence I find no rejection
I chose to love you in loneliness for in loneliness i felt no pain...
I'll Be The One as a best friend that ALL NO MORE

Dear son, dear doughter.....

My dear son,and dear daughter…..

Someday, when you realize that I have haved very old, try to be patient and try to understand me.
If there are many foods spilled out when I am eating…...
If I get difficulty in wear my own clothes ………
be patient!
Remember again, the moment when I vacated my times to train you about every thing that you need to know,…
when you were still little.

If I repeat to say same thing many times, don't stop me!
Listen to me!
When you were little, you always asked me to read for you same story many times, from one evening to other evening till you asleep.
And i did that for you!

If I dislike to bathe, don't angry to me and don't say to me that it is ashamed.
Remember how much understanding I gave you when ordered you to bathe when your were little.

By seeing my ignorance towards the new technologies, do not laugh of me but leave me rather the time to understand.
I taught you many things …. How to eat well……how to clothes …how to have good behaviour……..how to face many problems in life…..

If sometime I become forgetful and I cant understand and follow talking, give me time to remember, and if I fail to do that, don’t be proud and angry to me, cause the most important thing for me is…...I can be with you and can talk to you.

If I reject to eat, don’t force me !
I know when I am hungry and when I am not hungry...

When my foot havent able to hold my body, to move like before…
Help me with the same way as I held you in my hands, taught you to do your first steps……

And someday, when I tell you that I don’t want to life again…………,
when I want to die….., don’t be angry…, cause someday you will understand too !
Try to understand that in certain age, we are not really "life" , we are only "not die".

Someday you will understand that beside all fault that I did, I always want best things for you and I prepared basic for your future life...

You don’t need to feel sad, not lucky or fail in front of me by seeing my condition and my age that have became old.You should be in my near, try to understand me that my life is for you, for your success, as I did when you were born.

Help me to walk, help me in the end of my life with love and patience.
One thing that make me must feel thankful to you is your smile and your love to me....

I love you my son, my daughter………

Your father, your mother